Category: Tinker, Tailor, Schoolmum, Spy

February: Old friends, new friends, no friends

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My feet have just about touched the ground again after four weeks of mayhem, starting with jetting off to Dubai for the wonderful Emirates Airlines Festival of Literature at the start of the month, which I was lucky enough to be invited to as a speaker and workshop facilitator. I don’t think there is any point in pretending that it wasn’t THE coolest thing I have done as a published author, because you’d all know I was lying. Highlights were many but included:

  • Delivering a workshop on being inspired to write and writing comedy to a sold out room!
  • Talking books and publishing and everything in between with readers, other authors, agents & generally bookish people for a whole week!
  • Being on a panel with Sudha Murty and the utterly lovely Alexander McCall Smith, and having the most fun and fascinating conversation about letter writing. You can find the transcript of my letter to Dubai here.
  • (Much later…) Discussing the merits (or not) of toilets with glass walls with Alexander and his wife.
  • Meeting a bunch of amazingly creative people and being surrounded by multi disciplinary artists from so many different places and cultures.
  • Seeing a bunch of old friends and making some new ones too. The theme for this year was ‘Old Friends’ and it couldn’t have been more perfect.
  • Sunshine and warm weather… working by the pool made for a nice change of pace!

Talking of working, I’ve been going at it like a dog. I’ve barely left the house since I arrived back and I’ve forgotten how to talk to people but my latest manuscript is now nearly ready to go out to the world and there’s another one hot on its heels that I’m two thirds of the way through already! I’m really enjoying being at the end of the process for my second novel, and excited at the ideas I’ve had for the third one, to really make it zip. Putting an extra spring in my step this month has been the fabulous news that my agent, Davinia Andrew-Lynch, has joined Curtis Brown Books and taken me with her as a client! I am very much looking forward to stepping out on this new adventure with her.

FEBRUARY BOOK CHOICE:

Finlay Donovan is Killing It by Elle Cosimano was a recommendation by Davinia, actually. The premise is simple but irresistible: a author and mom of two who’s husband has run off with the estate agent is mistakenly hired as a contract killer. If you like Stephanie Plum, you’ll love this. It’s fast paced, murderously good fun with lots of funny and familiar scenarios for the mums out there. A great palette cleanser if you’ve been getting too serious with your literature lately. I bought the audio book and it’s read pretty well – not sure about the ‘guy’ voices but it’s not as annoying as most!

FEBRUARY TV CHOICE:

There is nothing better than deliciously dark television that offers plenty of sass alongside – and Bad Sisters more than delivers. Nicknamed ‘The Prick’ by his sisters in law, JP really is the gold standard: his apparent playfulness towards his wife, daughter, mother, the neighbour and the sisters is in turns threatening, frightening, patronising, dangerous and downright evil. The sisters decide they’ve had enough and plot to kill him, but he proves a slippery fish to nail – and here is where the wonderful comedic turns can be had as the assassination attempts get more and more outrageous, with disastrous consequences. The story, in essence a ‘whodunnit’, moves forwards and backwards in time to finally reveal the who, what, where of the murder.  The only thing I didn’t think was utterly brilliant was the slightly annoying subplot of two hapless insurance agents trying to prove the women killed him to save their business from bankruptcy and a criminal action lawsuit. Yes, it was necessary to have someone investigate to create the motivation for the cover up, but I think the plot stretched a little thin at times in terms of the believability of these characters. However, it didn’t really take too much away from what was a brilliant story, beautifully shot, subtly acted and wonderfully written to keep us guessing most, if not all of the way.  

MY MONTH AHEAD:

Well it’s a quiet month for me after the storm that was February so I’ll mainly be focused on final tweaks for submission and cracking on with the next manuscript. But there’s a couple of things going on in the CWIP motherland that I should draw your attention to…. firstly, the shortlist is out and it’s fantastic! Very much looking forward to reading some of this stack that hasn’t already found it’s way to me.

Secondly… and admittedly, you don’t have long with this bit of information… but the Comedy Women in Print Prize is running a ‘Febulously Funny’ fundraiser, where if you donate, like, TODAY, you’ll be put in the prize draw to win lots of books and swag from the authors of the unpublished-but-now-published CWIP Prize books. The Prize relies purely on donations and Helen Lederer’s caffeine intake, and does great things for unpublished authors as well as championing funny female fiction – so if you’re a fan, please consider donating here. You can, of course, give generously after today, with absolutely no chance of winning anything except the adoration of all involved with CWIP!

See you next month,

Fx

The subjectivity of comedy

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Last week I made an off the cuff remark on Twitter about teenagers being worse than toddlers and it got more hits than almost anything else I’ve ever posted. Some people laughed in recognition, some mothers of toddlers were horrified at this window onto the future, some people told me off for stereotyping and one lady kindly noted ‘you reap what you sew’. Her reaction reminded me that the pressure put on women by other women is alive and well, but more than that, that comedy is always subjective (especially on Twitter).

When you’re writing comedy, it’s important to grow a thick skin, preferably right over the one you already had to grow as a writer anyway. Not everyone is going to find you funny, not everyone is going to laugh at the things that had you cackling into your laptop. For reasons I still can’t fathom, some readers consider it their civic duty to criticise comedy writers, loudly, warning others in brutal online reviews that You. Aren’t. Funny. As hard as it can be not to take it personally, you have to ignore them. Because what they mean, whether they realise it or not, is that it’s not funny to them.

And that’s okay. The golden rule when I’m writing a funny scene, or inserting a bit of witty dialogue, is that if it makes me smile while I’m writing it, there’s a good chance there’ll be other people who will find it amusing too. They might even find it funnier than I do. Or they won’t think it funny at all. At the end of the day, it actually doesn’t matter, as long your writing is good. If you produce a quality story, with strong characters and snappy dialogue, being funny is just the icing on the cake. John Hodgman is quoted as saying “don’t concentrate on becoming a better humour writer, just concentrate on being the best writer you can be. If you’re funny, the work will end up being funny. And if you’re not, the work will still end up being good.” I think that’s a good rule to write by.

JANUARY BOOK CHOICE:

The book I’ve just finished up reading is actually pretty in keeping with the story at the start of this post. Other Parents by Sarah Stovell is set in the world of competitive parenting, PTA horror, secrets and small minded mentalities. I bought it for the title and the zippy front cover and because I assumed it would have protagonists who were over the age of 30 – still a rarity in the publishing world, despite there being a huge audience of middle aged book buyers out there who might like to read about themselves occasionally. I’ll dive into this another time, but suffice to say it’s something I base a lot of book choices around – plus I’m a sucker for a pretty front cover… so I admit I didn’t read the blurb and made several assumptions about the content. As a result I kept waiting for a murder to happen… spoiler: there is no murder! But there is plenty of action. It followed a few different storylines from multiple points of view that challenged and provided enough twists and turns to keep me interested. An enjoyable, sometimes dark, sometimes witty, horribly familiar-in-places story that’s perfect as a book club/holiday read.

JANUARY TV CHOICE:

I just finished up the third and final season of Dead to Me (Netflix), starring more wonderful middle aged women Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini, supported by Prince Charming himself, James Marden. I have simply loved this oh-so-dark comedy, and was sad to see it end, although it was definitely the right time. A masterclass in getting your characters into trouble, and then really leaning into that, I have really enjoyed the way the writing shifted from comedy to tragedy with such grace and presence of mind. It’s a study in female friendship and grief that I thought was beautifully, madly, deeply done, with thrash metal, copious swearing and high farce brilliantly executed by the cast.  

MY MONTH AHEAD:

January is half gone already but the rest of it is busy! On Tuesday 17th I’ll be joining Jo Good on BBC London as one of three guests on her ‘Chewing the Fat’ segment. I’m on at 11pm if you fancy tuning in.

At the end of the month I’m getting on a plane to Dubai to take part in the Emirates Festival of Literature, which I’m pretty sure is going to be a highlight of the year! I’m running a masterclass in comedy writing and appearing on a panel with Cecilia Ahern and Alexander McCall-Smith, amongst others – plus catching up with some other writers from the region, who I haven’t seen in a really long time. I really can’t wait to devote the week to all things books, and, having lived there for nearly a decade, spend some time in my old home with dear friends too. It will be wonderful to go back to where my writing journey began, and hopefully spark some new ideas for new stories as well.

See you next month,

Fx

How it started… how it’s going…

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Someone asked me last week, what it was like to be a debut author. It’s weird, because to be honest, I don’t feel very debut-like anymore, although as far as the glacial timelines of the publishing industry go, it’s entirely possible I could be considered ‘new’ for another 23 years. But the initial excitement and sense of achievement of publishing a novel is certainly in the past; and while I’m still learning a lot about my role as a published writer, it’s quite an interesting question to answer, six months in, with the benefit of quite a bit of hindsight. Now the euphoria has worn off, what does it really feel like to be a debut author?

Well, firstly, I’m a bit knackered. Every debut author will know (or very quickly find out) that the lion’s share of day in-day out marketing and publicity comes down to you; publishers simply don’t/can’t invest the same amount of time and energy in debuts by unknown authors as they do if you’re, say, Richard Osman or Dawn French. Trying to get noticed or stand out from the crowd is incredibly difficult; longer tail ‘reach’ feels like the holy grail. I can’t even begin to calculate how many hours I have spent campaigning to get into bookshops, do signings, appear in the local news or on the occasional radio show in the hope of selling a few more copies; social media is easier, but even so, to get followers up in the thousands could send you mad or die trying. And, after the initial few months, I’m possibly not alone in having the niggling thought that no matter how hard you work, it might not be gaining you any traction at all in terms of book sales. Not that you know one way or the other; there’s no way of knowing how your book is selling for at least six months so you are pretty much working in an informational void, with no idea if anything you are doing is paying off at all. Still, you can’t stop; you have to keep pushing, and hoping, and praying that it does.

But as time passes and people move onto the ‘next big thing’, it’s hard to keep the momentum going. And here’s where it gets tricky, as a debut author, to remain sane and grounded about your work. You have A LOT of other debut authors to compare yourself to and with each passing day you watch more and more of them launch into the world. We’re all making out like we’re so popular and successful and supportive in order to try and convince readers to give us a spin, but deep down in places we don’t like to talk about at parties, we’re all still really wondering if our books are shit in comparison to everyone else’s and that’s why we’ve only got 573 followers on Twitter and no one will answer our emails about appearing at book festivals. I’m not going to sugar coat how difficult that can be sometimes – I think it’s important to be honest with myself and a good thing, to check my ego and say, wow, you did an amazing thing but other people do it better, or got luckier than you, or both. But I recognise that in comparison to a lot of other authors whose books never see the light of day, I’m very lucky too, and I’m not saying I’ve been hard done by – I’m just saying it’s hard.

There’s a lot to celebrate, of course. Reviews, for one thing. Fan mail, too. I’ve had some amazing messages from complete strangers who felt compelled to write and tell me how much they loved the book. That I inspired someone to do that, to actually reach out, is a massive compliment and incredibly meaningful. I’ve been very fortunate to have a stonking set of reviews and actually only a few negative ones (my top three favourite 3* reviews, btw, are: 1. awarded for ‘ an unnecessary sex scene’, 2. ‘it’s not as good as Motherland’, and 3. ‘I’m going back to Ken Follett’). The variety of these comments will tell you that what readers like or want is very subjective so you can’t set too much store by them – and anyway, reviews aren’t really about feeding your ego – they’re more about feeding algorithms; still, it’s comforting to read what people are saying and know you didn’t write a complete load of rubbish. But ultimately, it IS about algorithms… so it’s hard to remain relentlessly upbeat about a product that you believe in and have invested so much of yourself in that almost everyone says is great when they read it, when you’re watching your Amazon sales nosedive because you haven’t hit the number of reviews that would propel you to be ‘noticed’ by a computer. That’s the other thing I’ve learned – don’t be shy about asking people to leave reviews!

Although I might sound a bit jaded I should point out that there’s still a boat load of things that make me buzz, that I don’t think I’ll ever tire of. Seeing my book on the shelves in a book shop. Friends messaging me to tell me they’ve seen my book on the shelves in a book shop. Getting on ‘the table’ in Waterstones. Being asked to talk about my book, the writing process, and yes, about being a debut author. God, I love the talking. I could do it all day long. When I’m not busy writing, of course (just in case my agent is reading this, I am actually writing too, I promise).

As I move from being debut author to an author with a debut novel (and I do think there is a distinction to be made) it’s great to take the time and consider all the stuff I’ve learned so far – which is A LOT. Next time – and there will be a next time, I am determined of that – my expectations will be set. I will know how to do a book launch, who to call, I’ll know what the publisher does and what my agent does and what I have to do and I’ll know a whole bunch of hugely supportive bookshops, radio stations, magazines and social media pals who will help me to get my book out into the world. I will reap the benefits of the hard work I put in this time around and cross my fingers and hope for that tiny little bit of luck that will get me on the shelves of Waterstones without having to go in and ask, appear on the supermarket top 10 or get me an invitation to a book festival where I can share all the things I’ve learned with other new authors too.

What’s it really like to be a debut author? Exhilarating, exhausting, joyous, tough… but most of all, memorable. But I have the sneaky feeling it’s like that every time; and that’s why I’m hoping to do it all over again.

One week to go!

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And suddenly there’s just a week to go before my book baby hits the shops. The past few weeks have mainly seen me sniffing out PR opportunities like a truffle pig, trying to book in-the-flesh author events in. I’ve got the most amazing blog tour booked (see dates here) but Covid has made planning any kind of in-person gigs pretty difficult. However, I’ve been lucky enough with timing to get some events booked for the autumn, with some wonderful bookshops who really couldn’t have been more enthusiastic – and to top it all, positive reviews coming in that are making me slightly less nervous about the whole thing. At this point, it’s hugely comforting to know that people are enjoying it already, especially as I accepted the amazing Helen Lederer’s offer to come and do an ‘in conversation’ with me at my launch party. A perk of being involved with the CWIP Prize, but slightly terrifying given I’m now standing up in front of 60 people with an bona fide professional comedian who is bound to be funnier than me. Not I’m worried about any of it – honestly… it’s only when I think about it really hard that my stomach lurches at the idea that I made everyone I know buy this book.

But let’s not dwell on that – I’m all about the positive this week! Even if I am also going to be 47 years old (yes, folks, it’s my birthday next week too), I get to have a party bigger than my wedding, sign books, wear a neon pink maxi dress with flying horses on it (true story) and generally feel like a superstar. It feels like an incredible privilege at this point, one that I appreciate enormously. I really, really feel for authors who’ve had to do this during the past 18 months with nowhere open and nothing happening. What a bitter pill to swallow after all that hard work getting to this point. I am very, very lucky.

Publishing a book is hard work. Even in ‘normal’ times, I don’t think anyone appreciates how hard it is to get your name out there as a debut author. I’ve basically become a door-to-door salesman to everyone I meet, which for me, is a bit out of bounds. Although I’m not shy about coming forward, especially when I started, I was cringing every time I told anyone I had a book coming out – you see it in their eyes, I would think, they’ve already decided it’s crap before you’ve even finished the sentence. I have discovered though, that generally, people are very happy for me, rather than eye rolling at the very idea. I still can’t help thinking, though, if only I was a minor celebrity, I would be taken more seriously. Top tip, kids: if you’re thinking you might like to publish a novel in future, my advice would be to get on the telly before you write it – be a news presenter or bit part on Corrie – because it will be a darn sight easier to promote yourself (and get other people to do it for you) if you’ve already done a stint on Strictly or won a BAFTA for best undead zombie in Game of Thrones.

Next week is THE most bonkers of my whole life. Monday is my birthday. Tuesday the e-book is out. Thursday my son starts senior school and the paperback is released. Friday is the launch party. Saturday is my son’s birthday party, with the follow up actual birthday on Monday. Talk about art reflecting life – TTSS is all about the balance between family life and career, and it couldn’t be more apt. And just like my heroine, Vicky, I’m fighting a losing battle with the two things I love the most… I’m sitting here writing this, knowing full well I should be labelling shirts and moulding gum shields for my only-born. God knows how conflicted I’ll feel this time next week! But I wouldn’t change it for the world. So many people have been in touch to say ‘enjoy it’… and I truly am. Deep breaths… and ready, set… GO.

Signing my first books @Barnes Books!